4 reasons why you can’t stick to schedules and routines with your kids and what could work instead

When i became a mother for the first time I was embarrassed to admit it to my mom friends that we had no routine whatsoever for quite a while.

‘Do you already have a good schedule going?’ I was asked.

Am I supposed to?

I googled and I found out that if we don’t get into a schedule, my family life will go to hell and my children have no chance for succes in life. That got me worried… I also realized that my baby boy was sleeping way too little during the day according to ‘experts’. That was no good news either. Something had to be done. I bought extra dark curtains to protect his day sleep. I almost fell for buying a white noise machine – he was really not into that.

We got into a solid schedule by the time he was 3 months old. He was sleeping 3 hours straight in the afternoon. I was so proud of myself. I was feeling like an exemplary mom. Do you know what happened next?I will tell you later, but first I want you to know this:

Schedules and routines are not for everyone!

It was around this time that I came across Human Design for the first time. It was a lightning bolt moment. Suddenly my whole life made sense! If you are familiar with human design, you probably know what I mean. If it’s the first time you hear about it, you can create your chart here.

When I got to know my chart, I understood that routines and schedule were never meant for me and even less for my older son. (It would be great for my younger son, but what can you do with a mom like me…)

Do you also struggle with creating routines and schedules and sticking to them? Your Human Design chart may give you some interesting insight into why that is.

1. Your arrows on your Human Design Chart are pointing to the right

If your top left arrow of Consistency is pointing to the right, you benefit from easing up on your routine. You don’t need to do the same thing every day. Using your intuition and allowing the natural flow of life helps you to unlock your creativity and excitement for life.

If the bottom left arrow is pointing to the right, returning every day to the same playground is not going to be satisfying to you on the long-run. Your soul is carving variety, new environments and adventures. Don’t bother creating a detailed routine and schedule. You probably won’t have the discipline to stick to it anyway. You were designed that way, so don’t beat yourself up about it.

Moms with left facing arrows thrive on consistency and routines. They have the discipline to stick with their schedule. It is not about being better or worse. Having a schedule in place allows someone with left facing arrows to go on autopilot. It frees up their brains to focus on what is important for them, what is spending quality time with their children in this case.

If I try to operate on schedules and routines with my right facing arrows, I start to feel disconnected from my self after a while. It makes me restless and life starts to feel flat. It doesn’t bring out my gifts. It may be practical for a while, but it doesn’t set me free to be my true self. Most importantly it makes me enjoy my time with my children less. Somehow the true magic that comes from being present in the moment is gone.

2. You have an undefined root

If your root center is undefined (the bottom square on your chart is not colored in), you system was not designed to handle outside pressure. The time pressure of a schedule creates unnecessary stress in your life. Release the deadlines for yourself and your family life will flow so much more harmoniously. Leave a generous buffer for yourself, when you need to be somewhere on time.

3. Your energy type has inconsistent energy

According to Human Design generators and manifesting generators have consistent access to life force energy. They make up about 70 % of the population and as a result they are considered to be the ‘norm’.

If you are a manifestor or energy projector (projector with some motor centers) you are sometimes revving up the engines and go like a rocketship. Until your fuel runs out and you need to take a well-deserved rest. It is essential to respect the ups and downs of your energy wave. If you miss your up wave because you follow a pre-set schedule that is not in harmony with your current drive, it leaves you frustrated. If you try to push yourself, when your are coming down from your energy wave, because your schedule was created when your energy level was higher, you get burnt out.

Even generators and manifesting generators get eventually burnt out, when they are following a schedule full of SHOULDs instead of filling up their days with things that truly light them up.

4. Your moon cycle has an impact on you

Whether we like to admit it or not our needs, energy levels and boundaries are totally different in the pre-ovulatory and post-ovulatory phases of our menstrual cycle. There is tremendous wisdom in our bodies if we are willing to listen to it. Trying to override our natural rhythms by man-made schedules is a recipe for disaster and health problems.

What can you do if routines and schedules don’t work for you?

I’m not encouraging you to kick up all structure in your life and spend your days in wild abandon and chaos if any of the above things apply to you. We all have our own gifts. It’s a personal journey to find what works for you. Knowing your design is an invitation to look at your conditioning, play around, ditch the ‘rules’, find your way back to your own nature and true self.

I love rituals. Setting intentions work great for me. I wouldn’t miss my daily yoga. I do a different set every evening. Freedom in the form.

Do you know what happened, when I finally got my son on a neat day-sleep schedule? He stopped sleeping during the night. The sleep he was getting during the day before I created a silent and dark sleeping sanctuary was exactly right for him after all. It was the worst, most painful and longest period of sleep deprivation of my motherhood journey. It got totally out of hand, because all the expert advice convinced me that I was doing the right thing. I ignored my intuition and common sense even when the writing was clearly on the wall. It took me more than a month to realized what an idiot I was. It was a hard moment of truth and reflection and a turning point in my motherhood journey. I don’t think I have taken any ‘expert advice’ ever since.

That’s my biggest problem with schedules and routines. I go into my head and stop being fully present. I am going through the motions without fully appreciating the gift of each moment. It can be a challenge to let go of the imagined safety net of tightly defined schedules, dust off our forgotten intuition and and step into the unknown. That’s exactly, where the the magic of motherhood rests. At least for me. With my right facing arrows and undefined root.

Much love,

Orsi

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